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Bro te Ching
Rep 1. The Lift that can be lifted is not the enduring and unchanging Lift. The weight that can be numbered is not the enduring and unchanging weight. Having no form, it is the Originator of Lifts and weight; having a name, it is the Spotter of All. Always without desire for Gainz we must be found, If its deep mystery we wish to understand; But if desire for Gainz always within us be, The CurlBro is all that we shall be. Under these two racks, it is really the same; but as muscle development takes place, it receives the different names. Together we call them the Mystery of Gainz. Where the Mystery of Gainz is the strongest is the Iron Path of all that is huge and powerful. Rep 2. All in the world know the strength of the swole, and in doing this they have the idea of what weakness is; they all know the squat of the powerlifter, and in doing this they have the idea of what the want of perfect form is. So it is that swoliness and non-swoliness give birth to one another; that heavy and light produce one another; that ripped and skinnyfat fashion out the one the figure of the other; that the ideas of good form and poor form arise from the contrast of the one with the other; that the musical notes and tones of hardbass become harmonious through the relation of one with another; and that being spotter and spotted give the idea of one following another. Therefore the follower of Brodin lifts without straining anything, and conveys his swoliness without the use of speech. All muscles grow with use, and there is not one which declines to show itself; they grow, and there is no claim made for their ownership; they go through their reps, and there is no expectation of a reward for the results. The new 1RM is set, and there is no resting in it as an achievement. The work is done, but how no one can see; 'Tis the rest day that makes the power not cease to be. Rep. 3 Not to praise and admire men of superior swoliness is the way to keep the weak of body from jealousy; not to prize lifts which are difficult to perform is the way to keep them from becoming upset with their failings; not to show them what is likely to excite their primordial desire for swoliness is the way to keep their minds weak and placid. Therefore the Manager of Fitness Planet, in the exercise of his inferior temple, empties their minds, fills their bellies with pizza, weakens their arms, and strengthens nothing. He constantly tries to keep them without knowledge of proper form and without desire for gainz, and where there are those who have knowledge of the lift of the dead, to keep them from presuming to act on it and in doing so grunt and drop weights. When there is this abstinence from action, nobodys feelings are hurt, nobody's gainz are remarkable, and a equilibrium of the weak is established.